Solution:
Thank you, The Higher Taste, for making this!!! This local company sells their goods at New Seasons and many other health food stores. I used my microwave (shhh don't tell Donna) and then stuck it in the toaster over to create a perfect end to my raging hunger.
Who doesn't love heat-and-eat burritos?!
Yes, I could have made this myself. Yes, the beans could have been cooked a little more. But that's all water under the bridge now that my belly is full and I all I had to do was move my arm a little to press some buttons.
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